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I REALIZED

I haven't write in here for quite some time. I was busy mending my broken heart and searching purpose in my life. Still struggling to keep my head above the water to prevent my self from drowning. I have been trying a lot of things to distracted my mind from all the voices. Been practicing ukulele a lot now. I can play songs on ukulele and I'm impressed with myself. Maybe because I used to play guitar before so ukulele is nothing for me.

This year, 2018, right on the new year morning, something hit me in the depth of my heart. The realization of "I don't want to die anymore, I want to live" give me a slap in the face. I was sobbing in the bathroom thinking how shitty my year are, how I was not myself the whole year and how I was struggling with bad thoughts. I was just thinking about my parents, my sisters. They were all there for me. That's when I made up my mind to get myself on my feet again and fix this problem.

Of course, things like this don't just …

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